At the heart of many mental traumas is an early experience of abandonment. Someone, when we badly needed them, was not present and their neglect has thrown us off balance ever since. We may find it hard to depend on others in adult life and lack faith that someone won’t run away, or take advantage of us, in turn. A loving companion intuits this about us and is ready to to earn our trust. They know that they cannot blithely assert their loyalty, they will have to prove it, which means not deserting us ay moments when other would be tempted to give up. – Alain De Botton